Does Saying Something Even Matter Anymore?
Growing up, I was the shy kid. I didn’t speak my opinion, and heaven forbid if I speak up. Speaking up meant confrontation that I didn’t need or want, but I also learned that nothing changed if I didn’t. As the years passed by, I found myself coming “out of my shell.” I wasn’t sure if it meant my personality was changing, or if I was finding my true voice. Was it a part of growing up, or was I just sick of being treated terrible? Defining it was near impossible.
When High School came, I wanted to be friends with everyone. Who wants to rock the boat? Nobody does, we all (deep down if we were honest) want to get along with our fellow man. I tried so hard to please every class and creed, which was exhausting. I eventually found my core group of friends, but there was the drama of High School where the “He Said” and “She Saids” came to wreak havoc on what seemed like a normal school day. Even then, being loyal to one person meant upsetting someone else, and I learned quickly in order to survive the years to keep my mouth shut and to be a better listener then talker. It kept things peaceful, but the things and people who created stress in my life at that time continued to do so because I couldn’t find the strength in my words to say something.
As an adult, you come to these forks in the roads. Some of us are peace keepers, we won’t say anything because we fear what the result will be- EVEN IF it means staying miserable in a situation. Others of us are confronters- we WILL say something because we feel our rights are being violated, or feel wronged in one way or another. And then there are those of us who ride the fence, we don’t want anyone to be upset with us so we take both sides, or pretend to stay out of it, even though we are being sucked in whether we like it or not. But as the Adults we say we are, I believe and have learned that confrontation is the only way to create change. Ignoring does nothing, the person or issue will continue because they A. don’t care or B. don’t realize it is bothering or effecting someone.
I have had to deal with a couple of confrontations since moving here, and to me, it’s been confusing. I don’t know if I am growing thicker skin and not allowing people to run over me, or if I am just fed up, or both. Have I learned along the way that saying something is necessary or that there is no point to it but to be upsetting the situation? It’s a hard line to walk, and when you are living it, sometimes people can perceive you as a person by how you are reacting to something, even if they have no real clue who you really are.
It’s hard when you know what is true and real, and what is fact vs fiction, but yet others just don’t see it that way. I wanted to write about it because I believe we all deal with this during our lives, and sometimes just talking about it makes us feel better, move forward, and be that much stronger for the next time.
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